Worst Tumblr Ever.

Get Back! Get Back! You Don't Know Me Like That!

Anonymous asked: What is your favorite form of foreplay?

Ok, well, if you didn’t think the answer to this was gonna be roleplay I don’t even know what to tell you but… here is the only form of roleplay that even remotely interests me:

So, we’re both in bed… nothing sexual going on, just laying there. Suddenly, A NOISE!  Since, in this roleplay I will be playing someone brave, I go to investigate.  After being gone for a few minutes she hears the sounds of struggle and then silence followed by me stumbling back to the room holding my stomach as blood pours through my fingers and out of the corners of my mouth (red corn syrup, guys, don’t worry!).

As I fall to the floor she screams and collapses to her knees beside me, crying.  Through the blood in my mouth I manage to gasp out a request for her to run before my eyes drift towards the ceiling in defeat.  

She yells and says that my death isn’t in vain, she runs from the room to find no one in the apartment as I, still in the bedroom, am silently changing into black robes and mask.  She grabs a knife from the kitchen and continues to search the apartment.

She comes back into the room and I grab her, a fake knife to her neck, “ARE YOU READY TO DIE, BITCH?!” I growl just seconds before I feel the blade that she is now holding slide in between my ribs on my left side. Two more quick stabs follow it before I am able to wrap my head around the situation, “Baby, baby… it was a joke!” I say as I release her from my grasp and pull the mask off of my face.  The blood is flowing freely, now, as I again fall to the floor.  

"No, no, no! What have I done?!" She yells to herself.  In her anguish she turns her blade on herself and plunges it into her stomach.

She falls on the floor beside me and grabs my hand, blood now saturating the carpet.  

With our last remaining breaths we stare into each other’s eyes.

Then, and ONLY then, can I climax. 


  1. alex-lately said: Oh my god.
  2. thenewhotness posted this
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