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Get Back! Get Back! You Don't Know Me Like That!

The last time I saw my grandfather he wiggled his foot at me.

He was laying in bed at his nursing home and he wiggled his blanket covered foot at me.  I was standing at the foot of the bed and getting ready to leave with my father and he poked my thigh with his foot and smiled.  I smiled back. He was a lot thinner that day than I ever remember.  

The second to last time I saw my grandfather was at my uncle’s house.  It was a family get together and he was there.  He was staying at the nursing home at the time so my aunt went and picked him up and brought him to their house. He was in a wheelchair at the time.  It was the first and last time I ever saw him use a wheelchair.  He was thin then also.  I sat on the floor that day.

I had Tommy John surgery when I was in high school. I blew out my elbow wrestling. I needed to get an elbow brace fitted sometime after the surgery so that I could play soccer, I went to his house afterwards.  We sat across from each other at his kitchen table.  I had a glass of chocolate milk and he was using a knife to slice pieces off of a chunk of cheese and ate them.  He told me I should quit wrestling because he didn’t want me to get hurt, I told him it was a freak accident and it wouldn’t happen again.

When he was in the nursing home my parents and older sisters tried to get me to visit him with them several times.  I said no.  I told them I didn’t want to see him like that.  I was 15. My oldest sister finally said “well, he wants to see you.”

He wiggled his foot at me that day.

At his funeral there were white balloons. 

I didn’t cry at his funeral or viewing and my aunt and uncle thought that was weird. 

I rode back from the funeral to a sort of wake thing with my uncle. He tried to lighten the mood. He asked me about girls. He asked me if I was a Casanova. 

I have a lot less memories of my grandmother on that side.

One of my memories was of eating Starbursts in the waiting room of the hospital when I found out she died. 

I don’t remember anything else about that day, but thinking about eating Starbursts makes me feel like throwing up a little.

We had black magic markers at my grandfather’s funeral that we used to write on the balloons and then let them fly up into the sky.

I wrote “I miss you.”

I don’t know why I wrote this post.

  1. lindseypumpkin reblogged this from thenewhotness
  2. honestbird said: This had better be a true story.
  3. dintheverb said: tumblr = marker, balloon, sky. :-)
  4. staceyjoy said: <3
  5. gobbledigooks said: This reminded me of the last time I saw my grandpa. He wiggled his feet and I asked if he wanted them covered up. He shook his head yes. He didn’t say anything the whole time I was there, until I was about to leave and he whispered “I love you.”
  6. moustachefiend said: I feel your feels, bro. My grandfather was my idol. His 10 years dead anniversary was last week. I also never wanted to visit while he was sick (w/ Alzheimer’s) because he couldn’t remember who I was. Thanks for writing this. I miss mine, too.
  7. psydoctor8 said: Can you just say things all the time?
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