June 2012
Since June is starting in a few minutes
I thought I would take this time to give a review of May to everyone who wasn’t paying attention. Time Magazine reported that a faceless Dan Harmon was breastfeeding Mariano Rivera.  Joe Biden supported this. Robin Gibb hosted his last episode of SNL, the Beastie Boys were the musical guest. Mitt Romney spelled Avengers wrong.  There was also an eclipse that no one on the east coast saw,...
Jun 1st
15 notes
May 2012
I have a weird thing with my perception of the...
where I will never associate the internet with “cool”, I will always associate it with “secretly embarrassing” and yet if I meet someone who isn’t internet I’m like “…but why?” “quotation marks” 
May 31st
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May 31st
536 notes
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Help me make a meaningless decision?
Oregon sent me an email saying they would hook me up with a laptop bag for the comp they are gonna let me use. So, what do you think?   
May 31st
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Restaurant Impossible is like the most scripted...
but I don’t even give a shit, I can’t stop watching.   Seeing these restaurant employees attempt to read lines naturally is like crack to me. 
May 31st
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I've been thinking about it today
and if there ever is a robot uprising it won’t be the Terminator robots physically destroy humanity kind. It will happen when the internet gets us to upload all of our important data, files, life’s work to it, so there are eventually no hard, paper copies of anything. And then it deletes it all. And then watches as we say “FUCK FUCK NO NONONONO NO NO FUCK FUCK NO!”...
May 30th
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It's cool that The National did a song for Game of...
but my favorite band in Westeros still has to be Kings of Theon  
May 30th
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In the future, after facebook informs senders of...
scientists will look for a way to harness the power of millions of people clicking “maybe” each day, as an alternative energy source.
May 30th
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I feel that countless hours of watching Chopped...
to hate someone completely within 45 seconds of meeting them.
May 30th
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No joke, I'm at the point in my laziness
where I would totally use a Nintendo Power Glove to operate my laptop if it meant easier internetting while laying on my side.   
May 30th
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May 30th
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ListenStepdad // Wolf Slaying As A Hobby
May 29th
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May 29th
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May 29th
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I feel that out of the whole of human history this...
May 28th
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May 28th
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May 28th
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You can tell you're really making the most out of...
when you go to save a picture to your hard drive and plan on titling it “My Two Dads” but have to add a “2” to the end because that name was already taken.
May 28th
13 notes
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Allow me to jump in front of the Girls-esque...
and say that I hate you all already. If I agree to like Lena Dunham will you guys please not spend the next month ripping this thing to shreds?   Please? 
May 28th
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May 28th
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May 27th
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I'm super not interested in Barry's normal too...
Can someone recall a story of when he was laying on a couch watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory murmuring something like “I know I’m saying something stupid, like… I can feel myself saying words, like right now, saying this, but it’s like the words are hitting my ears before I even THINK THEM!” ? Please?
May 25th
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3 tags
I wanna start adding a number to the end of my...
May 25th
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Anonymous asked: I love how a Tumblr user insults you for being a Twitter user, as if Tumblr's somehow less embarrassing than Twitter.
May 25th
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May 25th
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Anonymous asked: I'm sure everyone "hip" is going to make fun of me but I like you considerably less knowing that you use twitter.
May 25th
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I'm so indecisive I have 3 different twitter apps...
May 25th
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May 25th
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May 25th
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“Oh, well I never would’ve got that anyway!”
– Me, trying to make myself feel better after I don’t solve a Wheel of Fortune puzzle. 
May 24th
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May 24th
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May 24th
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May 24th
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Anonymous asked: Do you ever listen to the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast?
May 24th
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May 24th
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I just watched the intro to Betty White's Off...
You’ve done it Betty White, you’ve made me hate old people. 
May 24th
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The way that everyone knew I was a true pimp in...
was the fact that I put this:  []D[][]\/[][]D in my AIM profile. 
May 23rd
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ListenHanni El Khatib // You Rascal You
May 23rd
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I mean, Ibaka is probably the 5th best defensive...
so if 1st team all NBA was just the top 5 defensive players in the league he should’ve made it. But it’s not. So he shouldn’t have. 
May 23rd
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Stomachaches and headaches are things that we...
May 23rd
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1 tag
ListenLittle Dragon // Shuffle A Dream
May 23rd
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WatchWatch
I don’t know if you guys knew this or not but my favorite thing on the internet: Cracked - After Hours, is on its second season. And I know the main part of this video is supposed to be weird or creepy but, nope, my love for the internet knows no bounds.  
May 23rd
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ListenLittle Comets // One Night In October
May 23rd
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hidemyloveaway replied to your post: So how do you feel about this Rufio prequel that might be happening? He’s a lost boy…he’d be the same age. Lost boys don’t grow up. So the prequel I’d think he’d just be the same age he was. Ugh, that’s a great point. Pretty disappointed in myself, ngl.  
May 22nd
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The Day I Saved Your Life
I’ve never told this story on here because it makes me seem like a complete lunatic and I’ve always said to myself that if I ever decided to stop doing this tumblr this would be my last post, but I’m feeling pretty uncreative and bored today so, why not, right? Anyway, consider this an opportunity to stop reading if you don’t feel like having your opinion of me change. ...
May 22nd
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Dear fun., your stupid lack of capitalization and...
May 22nd
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1 tag
Anonymous asked: So how do you feel about this Rufio prequel that might be happening?
May 22nd
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ListenEverything Everything // MY KZ, UR BF
May 22nd
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ListenDillon // Thirteen Thirty-Five
May 22nd
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I wonder if there is an alternate universe where I...
I hope not.
May 22nd
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