April 2012
There were basketball games tonight?
I thought the tourney ended after gonzaga won in the first round?
March 2012
Oh, Kirsten Dunst
you are so awful in the Spider-man trilogy that you actually make me hate spiders
and men
and trilogies
and life
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I don't like April Fools Day because it gives...
I sort of hate anything that encourages the unfunny to make jokes.
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Taking a momentary break from my Happy Endings...
because Temple Run is on the android and I just found out
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Eminem // My Fault
Out of order episodes during a marathon
are probably somewhere in the low 80s on the worst things of all time list.
So, Confession Time
On March 30, 2012, I won $550 million dollars.
For about a week I spent it having fun, things were great. Then I got bored.
Then I spent the next two weeks getting weird.
Real weird. Buying people and making them wear garbage bags filled with mayonnaise weird… I don’t really wanna talk about it.
After some wise investing I quintupled my money and made an effort to turn the...
There are some of you out there who probably...
in my current desire to watch nothing but/talk about nothing besides Happy Endings to those people I want to say that you’re dead to me for the next few days until I finish watching every episode.
“Wait, wait, wait… he’s racist?! … REALLY? I’m…...”
– no one, regarding Rick Santorum
The check's in the mail
What is this? 2002? I think that saying officially needs retired and replaced with something way douchier like… “The paypal payment is pending”
Anonymous asked: Is your girlfriend funny too??
Anonymous asked: Post a picture of yourself?
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I hereby officially grant anyone and everyone...
to fix any typos that I have made in any post of mine that you might happen to reblog.
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ZZ Top // Sharp Dressed Man
I like how dogs can straight sneeze on your hand...
and then act like it’s not a big deal. THAT’S HOW DISEASE GETS SPREAD, ASSHOLES
So, after watching my first ever episode of Happy...
…and the verdict is: *drum roll* [[MORE]]
Well, since we're basically at the 1/4 mark of...
Alicia Silverstone fed Joseph Kony baby bird style during the hunger games while george zimmerman masturbated in the street during the season premier of mad men. Meanwhile, Veronica Mars was crying because Sopa and Pipa Middleton helped Swizz Beatz operate mediafire, which Rick Santorum hates because it’s flaming.
Coming up next on World News
Are thieves pretending to be your children?
Your grandchildren?
Using Facebook to trick you?
Out of thousands of dollars?
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Ludacris // Act A Fool
New App "Circle of 6" Can Help Prevent Sexual... →
imnotheretomakefriends:
I’ll admit I was skeptical when I heard that the White House was holding a technology challenge for developers to create an app that would help prevent sexual violence. All of the stuff that I believe can change the prevalence of sexual violence — harsher punishments for criminals, a cultural change on what consent means, a modification of the way we use alcohol and...
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Who's the asshole that had to go to the ER
because he cut his PINKY on a BROOM HANDLE and it would not stop bleeding?
Anonymous asked: not cool
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It's a good thing I wasn't as "internet" in K-12...
or I would open a text book, see a picture with a quote caption below it and stare at it for a few seconds thinking “I wonder if they really said that” before deciding on ‘who cares’
How much of my life have I spent playing air...
.25%? .5%?!
1%?!?!
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Scouting For Girls // She’s So Lovely
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Alphabeat // Vacation Yo, have you solo danced yet...
Anonymous asked: do u have a girlfriend? if not, can i be urs?
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So, I was in a book store the other day and...
so… based on what your impressions of me are (and they could be way off, but who cares), what book do you think I should read?
Eh?
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None More Black // You Suck! But Your Peanut...
Wait, wait, wait
Is Don’t Trust the B—— in Apt. 23 actually supposed to be good? I’m seeing all of these internet people that I like talking about this today but I saw this behind the scenes trailer thing for it at the movies this week and it seemed like such a cliche “I can’t believe they let us get away with this!” kinda thing where they just seemed so masturbatory about how risque their...
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ZZ Top // Gimme All Your Lovin’
Hey Tumblr,
if you can make “likes” available in the same manner that we look at our archives instead of how it is now, I promise to buy you three rounds of drinks, compliment your next haircut, and look you directly in your eyes the next time we share a firm handshake.
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I wish real life had spring training
I just want, once a year, for someone to pay me to go to Florida and then teach me how to be an adult.
I've been watching an MTV Cribs marathon since the...
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Fastball // The Way